Monday, February 8, 2010

somebody two-hand touch me where it hurts


I’ve been playing touch football with my buddies for 10 years; we almost always break up into the same teams for our three-on-three battle and have rules that have been established years ago. Two feet inbound for a reception, 1 blitz for per four downs, 7 Mississippi for the rush, 2 hands touch to down the offensive player, first team to 7 wins.


We’ve played it on little-league fields; on park turf must most often we play it in the street. It’s amongst friends, so although it does get heated it never gets violent and in 10 years nobody has ever seriously gotten hurt except the time that both the balding Chinese speed receiver and the chubby tight-end with the golden-hands both pulled a nut on the same play.

For years playing with the same guys with the same rules you start to notice tendencies. Maybe one guy can’t throw more than 15 or 20 yards, another guy may play you back so as not to get beat long, there might be another one who shouldn’t be covered deep because his hands are like stones. Well you would think that being a combination of a fairly bright guy and a guy who runs 20+ miles per week so my stamina is better than most of the slobs I play with and although I’m an un-athletic loser there are still a few occasions when I can get deep enough to score a TD. Maybe it’s the lack of sleep, maybe the lack of athletic gifts or maybe the lack of concentration but I spent a full hour in 20 degree temperatures wearing a thin sweatshirt and basically wasted everybody’s time out there.

Final Score

My Team 0 points

Other team 7 points



My line

0 touchdowns,

8 receptions

3 drops

0 interceptions

3 TD’s given up

1 sore groin

1 painful heel

1 bruised ego.

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