The Wrestler

 I know what Randy ‘the Ram’ Robinson felt like

There is something that has become abundantly clear recently.. being able to run 18 miles does NOT mean that I’m in shape and at 33 years old most people are pretty much done with my act. The Righetti-wedding dance made its season debut this weekend out in Seattle and was received with some fanfare although like seeing a medicare receiving Mick Jagger this wasn't exactly the kind of thing you could truly say was still great.

But I saw Frank Sinatra live when he was about 85 years old and although he forgot half the lyrics and performed for no more than 30 minutes, it was worth the $50 it cost me for the ticket. I figure that there are still people who haven’t seen the Jon Bon Righetti experience and may want to tell their grandkids that they did. I get a bunch of people to tell me they look forward to it before it happens, although at the end of every show less and less people come up to me to show their approval.

Although my knees kind of creek, my back aches and the body is not looking so great, when the lights go down and JBJ whispers “once upon a time not so long ago”and the baseline starts pumping, I know that it’s show-time. Within 30 seconds into it the dance floor opens up for me, most people happy enough to see some drunk-fool make an ass of himself. I look around and see a few mothers covering their daughter’s eyes, a couple of Dudes head to the bar, some cougars shriek and most of the crowd looks at their watches just counting the seconds till the end comes.
Sadly the ‘wow’ factor is gone for 95% of the crowd and since the act really has only 3 moves, most of the audience is bored almost immediately. The crowd sings along about being ‘half way there’ which in this case might have a double meaning since the song is about half-way done.

But still the music crescendos as I run across the stage for the big finale, ripping the undershirt and revealing a one-too-many-Big-Mac body and for a few seconds I feel like I still have it. Sweat pours off my face as I go into the one-legged push-ups as the crowd sings along

“We’ve got to hold on to what we’ve got

cause it doesnt make a difference If we make it or not

We’ve got each other and that’s a lot For love - well give it a shot”

Most of the crowd applauds but gone are the days when people scream. The song starts to fade out as one drunk girl breaks a glass on the dance floor and most of the crowd heads back to their seats. I pick myself up off the floor trying to bask in the sunlight for just a few more seconds but my knee hurts from the slide and my friends aren’t even looking anymore. I try to find my tattered t-shirt and tuxedo vest and I get a couple of high-fives and one wedding guest offers to get me a drink although he never comes back with the Coors Lite I order