the morning after

One of the things I love about living in NYC is that you never need a car to get home after a night of heavy boozing.  It's a wonderful feeling to know that you are not putting anybody's lives in your hands when you leave a bar and that really the worst things that can happened to you on the subway are

1- falling on tracks.

2- getting bit on the foot by one of those dog sized rats

3- slipping in a puddle of piss on the subway platform


Luckily I've never fallen on the tracks although I've been threatened by donkey looking rats and I've neither falled in or been desperate enough to actually have peed on the platform yet (although I have a donkey looking buddy who can claim that he has).  I am a pretty good citizen on the drunk train home, not causing much headache or mess, see my biggest problem with these days is something different than the obvious ones. When I get blitzed there is a very good chance that I fall asleep on a subway car and by the time I wake up may find myself in the train yard.  A few years ago I woke up and found myself in a part of Brooklyn I never even heard of, walked across the platform and waited for the next train which took forever to show up.   When I sat down I realized it was the same train I was just on, it had hit the end of the line and came back.

Well after the FD's experience this weekend, I had one of those moments, first I sat on the hot-platform dodging piss puddles and poodle rats. When I finally got onto the train I sat in the corner, put my head down and before I knew it I saw signs for 36th street in Brooklyn. Well at 3AM the last thing you want to see is 36th street especially when you look across the platform and see nobody standing there which you know means that the next train could easily be 30 minutes away. I do a quick bit of math in my head (1 minute per block 33 blocks in total) and figure that I'm better off hoofing it home.

well there are few issues with this.

1) walking one block per minute is very doable on a normal day but when you are hammered you don't tend to walk in a total straight line, so I'm sure the 1.5 miles on google-maps turned out to be closer to 2.0 miles when a drunk Righetti does it.

2) I had to pee from 35th street all the way home but afraid of getting an indecent exposure ticket, had to hold it the whole way home.

3) Sportstalk at 3:30AM is so brutal it's not even remotely entertaining, the hosts of these shows should be paid like zoo-keepers because the amount of idiotic dribble they have to deal with is terrifying.

I do figure though that throughout it all at least I got some excersize