Pretzel Nuts

This one isn't about me for a change..

You know that mess of wires that you got all tangled together behind your TV? The ones that attach to the cable box and the one that goes to the modem are twisted together like a bird’s nest. I know that every time I’ve tried to untangle those I just tangle them worse, don’t have the patience for it and at some point just unplug them all, throw them in the trash and buy new ones. Well you can do that with TV Wires but not with everything else.

I remember there was some kid in High School who had about the worst thing ever happened to him. Now realize this is total hearsay, so take it with a grain of TOR salt.

Well apparently this poor sucker was sitting at home on a Friday night doing what 15 year old boys do when they are hanging out alone on a Friday night. I’d imagine he’s got Skinemax on the tube and this dude’s working himself .  Well this poor schmuck got himself into such a lather than apparently and started to use his nut-sack as if they were a couple of those Yin-Yang Chinese Stress balls. He must've been having some session cause before he knew it he worked them into such a mess that at some point he’s gotten his sack all tangled up into some kind of boat-knot.

I can only imagine that this has to be worse torture than waterboarding ever could be. Well since he couldn't get his yin and his yang back to their original spots and I’m sure he’s stressing out he apparently just made the situation worse as kept trying to fix the problem but kept getting them more twisted. Imagine all those wires you have behind your TV except this time they aren't attached to the HDTV but instead to your scrotum. This is when stressing out probably doesn't help.

Well in his misery this Kid calls 911 but probably not realizing that as most small American towns go, the ambulance is manned by volunteers, including a few of teenagers who he was going to HighSchool with him at the time.

The agony of having your left ball wrapped around your right one so tightly that you are in tears is terrible enough but imagine to be found lying with your junk looking like a bird nest when the ahole in your 4th period English class walks in.

This is the legend of "Pretzel Nuts"