Friday, March 13, 2009

I wear my sunglasses during the day

It took me 33 years but I finally relented. I have taken tremendous pride in a few things most notably that I do not accessorize. But today I broke down and got suckered into a pair of wrap-around sunglasses cause some chick scared me half to death when she told me I was a prime example of the kind of schmuck who hangs on the white beach for 15 minutes an picks up an immediate cataract along with my lobster burn.

I usually don't buy into these scare tactics but I have a buddy who once took a dump and in the process pushed so hard he dislodged his retina

Well of course the chick who scared me into buying these things basically bullsh!ted me on safety for 20 minutes and $40 later I'm sporting one of those full wrap around Oakley Knock-Off and I transform from a jerk to a total jerk-off. So I shell out almost $50 for sunglasses that basically look like the kinds that those old-women sport when they get glaucoma. This look tells the world you have exactly zero hope for anything.

Dudes in sunglasses for anything other than true medical reasons is beyond me.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
at

4 comments:

  1. OtisMarch 16, 2009 at 1:00 PM

    You bought Oakley-type wraparound sunglasses? I can't think of a worse fashion statement to make via glasses. You might as well just grow a mullet and put on neon spandex.

    Horrible.

    ReplyDelete
  2. SnehaMarch 16, 2009 at 2:15 PM

    eastbound and down i say! just call righetti the new kenny powers :-)

    ReplyDelete
  3. CathyJune 11, 2009 at 9:40 AM

    i also don't like it when people wear their sunglasses during lunch even if it's outdoors. it's kinda pretentious to me. i mean, i see reese witherspoon keep her sunglasses on when she's eating outdoors with jake gyllenhaal but they're celebrities so it's ok i guess. but i find it kinda rude when ppl keep their sunglasses on while eating/talking with you for a while.

    ReplyDelete
  4. CathyJune 11, 2009 at 9:41 AM

    omg i wrote about this in one of my back issues of my self-absorbed soliloquies. we're twins cuz we talk about similar topics. you're more well-rounded than i am cuz i almost never discuss politics or anything intelligent cuz i'm really shallow/superficial and have no interest in truly important things in life.

    ReplyDelete