This one is primarily for the ladies and it is pretty simple:
If you can read Vogue while on the elliptical machine than you are not working hard enough. See working out means that you are busting your ass, sweat dripping off your face and your heart rate raised, in other words it's like banging in that they are both things you could NOT do while simultaneously reading your horoscope.
If knowing your future is what you're interested in, let me help you.
In about 45 seconds your sloppy dude is going to make that weird face, you know the one that looks like he is taking a crap, well when he makes that face than you're fucked cause his little winky is going back in it's shell and sadly the fun is done and within 3 minutes he'll be taking a nap and your left wondering why in hell this is your life and that is your dude.
Same thing when working out except in this case if you can read your horoscope while excersizing it should read "in 4 weeks when you get onto the scale and see that it hasn't changed, you will probably think that working out doesn't work for you and drown yourself in a slice of Death By Chocolate"
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I agree once I went to the gym with Holly and she brought a very large book. I was like Hol why are you reading? and she was like "I like to read" then she did the elliptical machine for 45 minutes and I was done in 20 (NO book required)
ReplyDeleteanywho...read your horoscope before you go to the gym.
Dude, aside from the horoscopes, these women are definitely reading an article like "The Top 10 Ways to Arouse your Man- Who Knew?" from Cosmopolitan or some shit ... which is also very ironic because #1- as you mentioned, no real working out is getting done and therefore cottage cheese thighs are still quite present and still very unattractive, #2- those fucking Cosmo articles about how to please us are usually bogus anyhow... I don't know man- good shit. Is it gay that I've read Cosmo?? Fuck.
ReplyDeleteYour wife is a lucky lady!
ReplyDeletelmfao david. i really like your friends' comments on your blogs. why am i reading your blog at 9:30am by the way?! anyways, i discussed this in my self-absorbed shallow soliloquy once too. i don't like when people sit on a stationery bike and read a magazine. i like people to be tortured & miserable. i also get really pissed by people who check their blackberry/phone in the middle of a kickboxing or spin class. one time i saw a girl talk on the phone while we were in a group fitness interval training class. it really bothered me.
ReplyDelete