Sunday, January 25, 2009

I hate fucking Coldplay




As I'm listening to Mr. Crowley blasting through my laptop speakers, I wonder to myself  'what has happened to great music' and I've already addressed the fact that Rock and Roll has died since Guns N' Roses split up.   Now I know that ever hoping that Axl and Slash come back together to create what they had 20 years ago is a long shot and even if it did, the fire fueled by Heroin and Jack Daniels will probably be gone.  Axl has become a complete recluse and the anger from Appetite was lost by the time they recorded the Illusions.   Not that the Illusions didn't have a bunch of great tracks, it was missing the desperation necessary to bring about the anger to create great Rock & Roll.   
This is where Coldplay has it wrong, there is no desperation, no anger, no heroin, no JD, no passion...nothing.
This is cock-rock at its best (or worst).  It's catchy which makes you feel like a sellout for even singing along to it.  Creativity in general and more specially Rock and Roll is only able to reach its peak if there are unresolved issues at its core and sadly the downfall of great creativity seems to coincide with the artist getting off chemical dependents.   This is why Death Metal has it all wrong, it's an act, it's got no fear of life in it, it's pompous in its state battle against pomposity.  Rock & Roll's greatest attribute is that it doesn't need to feel forces, it's born out of desperation, anger and passion.
   U2 has make a dozen good albums and a hundred good songs, Bono is a saint for what he has done to shine the light on the plight of the world's poor but he has a band which couldn't rock it's way out of a paper bag.   But Ozzy Osbourn makes you feel his pain in Suicide Solution and Axl makes you feel his fear in Welcome to the Jungle while Bono makes you feel bad for being a human.  It's the unresolved tension in the human psyche which makes for the conflict neccessary between the baseline and the lead guitar, the lyircs and the rhythm.  Conflict is what is missing in today's musics, there is nothing about Coldplay which makes you want to rip your shirt off at a wedding and drop to your knees to be consumed by the guitar solo or bass-line or worst yet there is nothing about Coldpay which entices a chick to take her shirt off.  

There are two ways to determine if music is great.


1) have you ever seen a girl take her clothes off to it?   Rock and Roll was made for the seedy black-light lidt strip club stages not to hum in your car.   If you haven't it's not worth listening to.

2) Does it have the ability to cange your mood?  Can you hear the pain or anger to the point that you feel it?  If it doesn't than you might as well quit and get yourself the Guitar Hero IV cause that's the next great fall to our society.

3 comments:

  1. You can't just add a throwaway comment about guitar hero at the end. Guitar hero rocks! My guitar teacher quit hen I was 7 cos I was 'unteachable'. Thankfully I can still rock...thanks to guitar hero!

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  2. "i hate fucking coldplay"


    dude.

    seriously?!

    i would hate fucking coldplay too.
    their not my type....seeing how they have penises and all.

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  3. Ok hang on a minute here.

    I'll be honest. I like Coldplay. I said it. I like Coldplay, for what Coldplay does. No, I don't have that lead singer guy's poster on my wall, and no I don't go to see their concerts (they kind of bore me after a bit), but they write some catchy music and cool stuff, and it's not bad to listen to when you're barreling around the ring road in Iceland at 70 miles per hour. Are they GnR? Of course they aren't, and they aren't supposed to be, and never tried to be. You're comparing the fat drunk chick leaning against the bar at 1am on Saturday night to the witty, cute chick in the chair next to you at the coffee shop on Sunday afternoon. They each serve a different purpose, and Otis is glad the world has both. For that matter, you could scratch off a lot of other great music floating around out there these days, your Band of Horses, your Bon Iver, your Jack's Mannequin etc. etc.

    If you spend your whole musical life comparing everything to Appetite, you'll be consistently let down, because there will never be anything like it.

    Effin Righetti missing the mark more and more these days...

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