Rules of Engagment (part 3)

If you are going to post two parts of a Maxim article that didn't get published back in 2002, you may as well post the final one too.
Part 1 and Part 2 can be found here


Part 3 is here

Hanging with a handful of college girls the other night seemed fairly interesting especially because their motto during this Spring Break trip was “what happens in New York, Stays in New York”. Well what doesn’t happened in New York should not have been made to sound like something that might not be repeatable outside of New York. First of all the nastiness of trying to find a bar which doesn’t card and gives these chicks a somewhat decent time is one thing but then when they expect me to do all the entertaining it becomes painfully obvious why these chicks are spending their Tuesday morning recovering from their Hangovers while sitting in History Class while I’m spending my Tuesday Morning recovering from my hangover sitting at work. Actually that is a horrible example but what are you gonna do? The fact is that world experience does have some more value than originally meets the eye, I’ve been blessed that I’ve seen a few places and met some interesting people throughout my life but these girls found the joys of smoking up and going pumpkin picking a great pastime. One was telling me about this great book she just picked up called “Walden”. Then I spent the rest of the night hearing about her boyfriend and how he was going to get a covershot for Snowboarder magazine. Though I ride, I’m proud to say I’ve never picked up a single issue of Snowboarder magazine. The problem is a college girl is like snowboarding, fun to ride but not a whole lot of interesting articles in between the pictures.



I know one thing about me which is that I never go into a meeting with a new person without at least having 3 or 4 sure-fire stories in my back pocket, something that you can whip out at moments notice just to give you an opportunity to keep the conversation light and interesting, would it be wrong to ask some of these chicks to have something prepared also?






The point to this whole thing is that I know I’m not all that bright but that’s cool, I have done worse and I’ll do better, but whenever you’re having Italian-American food while playing conversational ping-pong with a 19 year old you know you’re in for a good time. I got a set of blue balls, a corkscrew and a headache to prove it.