TaKe on the Spirit Halloween meme

My kids love Halloween but I'm just happy it's over as the amount of sugar that will be distributed would turn an entire state diabetic.
But mostly I'm happy those stupid spirit costume memes can be retired as they are so incredibly lame.
The first one was funny, the second clever and the three hundredth made me want to poke my eyeballs out.

Cause like any decent internet joke, you people killed it.

Take on Round Ronny

DeSantis and Trump are about to go at it and although we all assume they will bloody each other, we know how this goes already. Trump will go after Ron hard, will find a crack in the armor and exploit it. I am not hundred percent sure what it will be but likely something about his dumpy look, his lack of pizzazz or him just looking like a guy who works at Office Depot

The one thing I am looking forward to is the nickname. You know he's working on one right now and the question will be if it's going to attack him for his appearance, his intelligence or his policy. I'm guess the first one and my vote is Round Ronny

Take on The second biggest Twitter investor

The second biggest shareholder in Twitter behind Elon is some prince from the Saudi Kingdom. The Saudi's can invest in whatever they seem fit but if Elon is so concerned about freedom of speech, maybe going to bed with The Kingdom isn't the best decision after all.

Take on the Paul Pelosi attacker

Everybody got their panties in a bunch when a SCOTUS justice wasn't able to finish desert but now one of their own has decided to beat down Paul Pelosi with a hammer. Political discourse has seemingly not been this bad since the 1850's and when the speaker of the house is getting threatened at her own house, maybe we need to stop feeding the crazies

Time to own your problems here

Take on Musky Musk

Elon Musk took over Twitter and immediately fired everybody which I guess means he'll be taking over as CEO, CFO, COO, C3PO and janitor. This sounds like an awful idea when you consider he's also trying to build cars, rockets, AI, satellites and robots and unlike all of those things, people actually care about Twitter. I suspect Twitter will collapse like the Roman Empire leaving Musk standing with no clothes on.

Take on Russell Wilson

There really is no bigger jackoff in the NFL than Russell Wilson. He spent four hiurs on a flight to Europe doing running drills in the aisle which is insanely idiotic and so for Sam annoying I wouldn't have blamed anybody from opening the emergency exit door and tossing this schmuck to the wildebeests

He's a self absorbed lunatic who always seems to think he's the smartest in the room until of course he throws an INT on the goal line. That is his story, he gets close but always gets stopped right before the big prize and we are all rooting for more of the same

Take on the Fetterman-Oz debate

I don't have a chance to watch the debate but from all I heard, watching Fetterman talk was painful. Nobody thinks it's fair to judge a man based on a stroke but it likely explains why they've hidden him in the basement for six months. Dr Oz is a total slimeball and would be incredibly dangerous but I have to guess that today, assuming nothing changes, he's got a 50/50 shot at winning based on nothing but his celebrity.

Take on 2024

With the midterms around the corner, most Americans are probably looking forward for the TV ads and constant political squabble to end. But we know better. The second the midterms are over, we will be inundated with the race for the White House. I think Iowa's caucus is like in a week, then a week later we get New Hampshire and South Carolina followed by Nevada and before we know it, we will have Trump vs Biden 2 and nobody wants either one.

Take on activism.

I'm all for climate activism but don't understand the idea of destroying a classic piece of art by dumping mashed potato's or chicken soup on it. I guess they get attention which is all that they want but when they just destroy art, I doubt you make many -if any- fans. But this is 2022 activism. Basically anarchy to force a bunch of countries to not act like a bunch of death wish having anarchists

Take on Twitter threads

There really is no bigger waste of bandwidth than those stupid Twitter threads. I don't know why the heck this has become such a big thing but these threads about the best YouTube channels or best Excel hacks or whatever. They are all so incredibly boring and don't even get why they exist as there is almost nothing interesting about any of them

Thanks
David

Take on the select committee subpoena

The House Select Committee officially subpoenaed Trump to appear which is as likely to happen as it would be for him to show up at said subpoenaed testimony without his toupee thing. Of course you can't fault them but a committee without any teeth is never going to get him to actually be held accountable

I'm so tired of this bullshit.

Take on the Pixel

I've been getting bombarded with ads for the Google Pixel which I'm about a likely to get as a burrito at the gas station down the street.   I get that there might be a market and dismissing Google is always ripe for embarrassment but it just feels too late.   iPhone users are so tied to their devices with their blue bubbles and share photo albums etc, that competing there seems futile and I'm sure the same is said for Samsung users.   I was at the T-Mobile store last week and Samsung devices look awesome and the chances of me getting one are basically 0. 

But what the hell do I know. 

Sent from my iPhone

Take on the 2 hole

I admittedly know nothing about beisbol and have not watched a full game since about the time I was playing little league but why do the Yankees bat Mike Judge in the two hole? With his size and power, he's a natural cleanup hitter or maybe a 3 hole hitter. Since he strikes out a ton but has great power but wouldn't call him a prototypical table setter but instead more like a giant busboy to clean up.

I brought this up to a buddy who said he read an article saying that the analytics state that he's most valuable there.

To which I respond that these nerds have ruined everything about the sport. The stupid shift, the countless relief pitchers, the righty lefty thing, the five days rest, the base to base game, the no stealing thing, the WAR and WHIP and WOR and GWAR and whatever. It's all so incredibly lame

Just let the game breath you mutant dweebs

Take on the Flesh-eating bacteria cases rise after Hurricane Ian

As if the entire state of Florida wasn't awful enough with the badly dressed tourist, the trash residents and the over abundance of old people, now those poor people now have to deal with flesh eating bacteria after hurricane Ian. I have no idea how to avoid it but I know one sure fire way.. move the hell out of the entire state.

Take on the Flesh-eating bacteria cases rise after Hurricane Ian

As if the entire state of Florida wasn't awful enough with the badly dressed tourist, the trash residents and the over abundance of old people, now those poor people now have to deal with flesh eating bacteria after hurricane Ian. I have no idea how to avoid it but I know one sure fire way.. move the hell out of the entire state.

Take on the 5x rates

The fact that Trump charges exorbitant rates for the secret service to stay at his properties while protecting him is no shock. The conflict of I treat has always been front and center but when you have a president who is so obviously corrupt, you pick your battles. What is the kicker to the story was that Eric Trump had told reporters that they were often charging the secret service a fraction of the rack rate which always seemed like a complete fabrication but the fact that this is the kind of news story that won't have two days of staying power tells you how Teflon this guy is.

Take on the 5x rates

The fact that Trump charges exorbitant rates for the secret service to stay at his properties while protecting him is no shock. The conflict of I treat has always been front and center but when you have a president who is so obviously corrupt, you pick your battles. What is the kicker to the story was that Eric Trump had told reporters that they were often charging the secret service a fraction of the rack rate which always seemed like a complete fabrication but the fact that this is the kind of news story that won't have two days of staying power tells you how Teflon this guy is.

Take on the the latest Truth Social

Trump so badly wants to be lived that he'll attack the Jews for not supporting him in the hope that by berating them, he will get them to fall for him. Who cares about any of this, but it's just another example of the kind of speech which would sink a lot of other politicians but for Trump it doesn't even get the air to breath. I'm so sick of every indiscretion being totally overlooked only because we yes it assumes he's just mentally handicapped

Take on PickleBall

Pickleball is the all the rage, going from a retired guy activity to having Tom Brady and LeBron James investing in a professional league. I played it today and it's mighty fun but making this a televised sport seems like a stretch. I'm not sure who the world's best are but for a sport which basically compete with shuffleboarding, it's unlikely we will get the Babe Ruth of the sport any time soon.

Take on #34

How Georgia is even making this Warnock-Walker hung close shows how despicable we can be as a country. This man clearly has CTE, has shown hat he cannot control his anger and has had violent encounters with women in his life. He's also fathered like a dozen kids and aborted another dozen but somehow those family values don't count because he is their knight in shining armor.

So go nuts Georgia and elect an obvious me two case just to prove you can





f violence and

Take on the Trump Organization II

Donald Trump's latest way to avoid liability was to dodge a lawsuit by forming a new entity with one of the least inspiring names ever. He was hoping to shield himself and his faux billions by incorporating as Trump Organization II which has about as much name pizazz as Bodybags II.
Don't think he'd get away with this if he were just a average Joe but knowing who he is, I'm sure he's going to evade all responsibility yet again.

Take on the nearly $1billion verdict

There isn't a bigger piece of trash than Alex Jones and a verdict of $1 billion somehow doesn't seem like enough. The issue has always been that this won't be something he'll ever pay, as I'm sure he'll appeal this to the end and then declare bankruptcy. He also continues to have his infowars show thing, so unless they take that away, I'm not sure how he ever is silenced. The pure fact that this kind of guy can be seen as influential to so many is so disheartening as it really shows the depravity of our country.

Take on Tulsi

Tulsi Gabbard officially left the Democratic Party to which I think everybody asked "when was she in the Democratic Party". In a long winded address to her dozens of followers she gave a word salad of right wing garbage. This is like transcribing a @TuckerCarlson segment, throwing all the words in a blender and pasting them back on a paper like a hostage note.

Good riddance

The on Kim Jong Un’s new outfit

Kim Jong Un looks more and more like a menopausal Korean lady's by the day. He starts wearing this ridiculous white outfit making him look like a pudgy korean slave owner which he sort of is. He's like the Korean version of the KFC colonel This dude is a week away from wearing one of those terrible huge korean visors and a pair of brand new Nikes

Take on Teflon Don

The NFL has always had a special set of rules for their stars, much like how the NBA has done it for years. But the fact that they have made it impossible to so much as sniff Tom Brady's armpit makes guy realize that not only is the field product embarrassingly bad, the rules are now so muddled that you can't even pretend to know what they are

Take on the bozo

Lauren Boebert self owns are legendary but. I thing is better than her "two words" tweet today where she went Let's Go Brandon. At some point it's either that she's as dumb as she'd being portrayed or she trolling us all. I'm guessing it's the latter because nobody can actually be that dumb

Take on Hershel Walker

Hershel Walker running for senate has to be one of the biggest jokes of modern politics. Never has somebody been so immensely unqualified and even republicans can't see this as a positive step, leaning just about everything to be desired. He's proven himself to be completely devoid of any political skill, scruples or morals and has embarrass himself at every turn

Put him out of his misery, please

Take on Dark Brandon’s latest powder play.

Biden stepped in and made a whole lot of people a whole lot happier today by decriminalizing simple marijuana possession. Legalization of week has been a growing trend but if there was ever a power move right before the midterms, it was this.
He's got the pro choice, pro weed faction on his side and the combo has to equal about 75% of our population in a very non perfect venn diagram.

Take on the sanctity of the home run record

Beisbol has always had its issues with records, which is odd as it's the one sport where statistics seem to matter the most. Comparing eras has always been impossible, so trying to rank Ruth over Mays or Aaron is a futile attempt. Ruth was a 280 pound alcoholic who happened to also be the be the greatest player of his generation. Then again he didn't play against black ball players and also didn't have to deal with the shift, specialty pitchers, 98 mile per hour heaters from nearly the entire staff. Then again the ballparks were bigger and most. Players couldn't possibly live off just their MLB salary, so they barnstormed or worked a farm.
But that's not just it, baseball has also raised the mound, lowered the mound, tightened the baseball and loosened it. They added a DH for one league and then like fifty years later for the other one. They give you a free batter at second if the game feels too long, they cancelled the World Series and had the all-star game end in a lame tie. They have had roids and PED's and they have expanded to the point of no return. They went from 154 games to 162, they went from playoffs to wilflcarsa to play-ins to byes. They went from only Dave Kingman striking out 200 times to everybody doing it

So maybe Judge did it cleanly while Bonds and Big Mac and Sosa juiced but come on. Time to recognize one record and move on.

Take on the divorce of the century

Tom Brady went from married to a supermodel and retired to divorced and playing for a 2-2 Bucs team without an O-Line. There probably is more
To the story but the rumors of this split has been circulating for months and fueled by Giselle's not so cryptic tweets

My first thought was he goes from bagging a supermodel to standing at a Fenway bar with Danny Amedola picking up some Boston accented 24 year old who reeks of Marlboros and Dunkin but my buddy said he's probably dying for this opportunity as he gets to go on his Derek Jeter roll here

She's also richer than he is, so he may not lose anything in the divorce and with their money they can easily helicopter in to see his kids anytime

But the one thing that hasn't been discussed are the inevitable slow leaks tarnishing his entire TB12 lifestyle and brand

We are two months from the revaluation that TB12 is all about taking blood out, spiking it with HGH, putting into a centrifuge to dilute, masking with antibody serum and re-injecting while the body is under no gravity in an oxygen infused water tube which counter spins at 6RPM's while listening to Strawberry Fields Forever

Take out the white thigh highs

Roddy Roddy DeSantis showed up wearing what can only be described as the most effeminate pair of shit kickers I've ever seen. He's already a very unattractive man but add to that a too tight vest squeezed a too fat belly, a pair of jeans with his zipper down and thigh high boots that would make Stormy Daniela blush and you wonder what the heck Americans sees in gun and how disgusted they will
Be when they see more of him.
Time to get a pair of dark green waders, Governor.

Take on the evil robots

Elon Musk is revealing some kind of house robot which he claims is about as evil as that maid from the Jetsons. But we are all smarter than that at this point, knowing Musk has something up his sleeve. We always blame Bezos for spying on us with his Alexa devices but this robot thing will likely steal your wallet, flirt with your wife and eat all the macaroni salad

Take on MTG

MTG is a really unattractive woman, between the three toed feet, the Steve Perry haircut and the fact she looks like she's built like a T-Rex, she's really odd looking. But when we heard she was getting divorced, our first thought was that he husband must be sick of the fact she's an attention whore. Turns out she's been banging a dude at the gym,
Who looks like he had a possum die on his face.

Time to move on