Take on the NYC mayoral discrepancy

The New York City mayoral race has been a sh!tshow since it began. The idea of ranked choice balloting sounds great until you realize that basically nobody in the city understands it. The entire thing feels like it's a ruse for back room deals and now to it the mess announced last night with discrepancies and the chances of anybody trusting these results ever are virtually nil
If I'm Eric Adams I'm furious, if I'm Wiley or Garcia I'm hopeful but understand any gained ground will be seen as illegitimate if I'm Andrew Yang I'm thinking about a run for governor.

Anyway, when Donald Trump is able to put out a statement lambasting your process and for once we can't totally disagree with him, you know you're in deep.

Take on Big Chris

The rehabilitation tour of the establishment GOP continues as Bill Barr and now Chris Christie is trying to cleanse their records as Trump enabling sycophant by pointing to the fact they jumped off the Titanic into a life boat at the 11th hour.
Admitting there was no election steal and that Trump won't magically become president again shouldn't be newsworthy. We shouldn't embrace people from stating facts although when it comes to the modern GOP even that small act seems like a gigantic feat

I'm sick and tired of having these people given the opportunity to "set the record straight". They had every opportunity for the last 5 or 6 years when they could have opposed all of this

TaKe on Brian Kilmeade

I know nothing about Brian Kilmeade other than the fact he's the Robin to Doocy's Batman. He's a little turd who strokes division by retelling untruths and convincing his audience that there is a boogie man hiding under their bed

Today this jackoff decided to argue against the non existent Critical Race Theory curriculum that they claim is being taught in public schools across the country.
He pointed out that he read Mein Kampf while in high school which would have made him a teenage neonazi being that no public. high school is making that as part of their curriculum

Take on Toyota

Michel Jordan told us that Republicans by sneakers too and apparently Toyota decided to one-up him and tell us that seditionists need access to a Corolla also.
Toyota has proven that when it comes to standing up for what's right, they won't so much as pay lip service to it. The great irony of it all is that none of these coorslite drinking jackoffs who stormed the capital would be caught dead driving a Tundra let alone a Prius

Take on the Trump rally

The former guy returned to the campaign trail with what sounded like his greatest hits. He performed in front of a sound out crowd of devotes who have all sold their souls to him and he aired all of his grievances again.
That's about as well as this can be described. He's a reckless sociopath whose entire self worth is basked in the admiration of the less educated and most impressionable

He's pathetic

Take on the Trump organization’s pending indictment

Criminal charges against the Trump administration are expected this week and TOR is willing to bet that TFG is going to be nightly salty. We know that he's got almost no redeeming qualities and this was expected but still, when it goes down I went to be in the streets celebrating. Bur I do think that there are many layers to this mess and he'll likely skate with it just hitting his reputation. Although his sycophant followers won't even read that

Take on the downfall of Rudy

Rudy went from Man of the Year in 2001 to a guy who was filmed trying to take his pants off in front of a girl barely older than a teenager.   He also had his hair dye roll down his face, held a press conference next to a dildo shop, had his reputation dragged through the mud and now has lost his ability practice law in New York State.    It's also assumed that Trump hasn't paid him for his work and didn't bother to throw a pardon bus way even though he threw himself on the fire for Trump.  He also made a bunch of butt dials to reporters and his dumbass son has used the good Giuliani name to look like a cross between Will Ferrell and Tommy Boy.  

But at this point you have to hope Rudy is a wounded dog and with any luck he bites his handler right in the wiener 

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Take on the Ivanka rehabilitation tour

Ivanka and Kushner planted stories in the press today distancing themselves from The Former Guy but. I body is buying it. They are social pariahs who should be forced to lay down on the bed they made and the media should not give them the opportunity for a rehabilitation of their characters. This has been the biggest issue in the time of Trump, we are all to obsessed with him, we can't give him up. We need a heel and he's the perfect one.

But we also shouldn't give him, his enablers or his minions a pass….ever

They tried to destroy this country from within and then attacked it from the outside and Ivanka and Jarred were along for that entire ride

Take on ranked voting

While the workd was watching whether Eric Adams, Maya Wiley or Andrew Yang would win the choice ranking, a loudmouth clown took the GoP nomination. Nobody expect Curtis Sliwa to actually win the mayorship but truth be told he's by far the most recognizable name in the entire field…He's also nuts. But when you're just appealing to Staten Island, that will work just fine.


The last half dozen mayors of NYC have all either had huge egos or at least big personalities . Rudy was nuts but commanded the stage, Ed Crotchy Koch was great I think. Bloomberg was a total dweeb, Dunkin Dinkins loved the US Open and let the city burn and fatty de Blasio always made people wait because he was trying to squeeze into his manssiere.
I have no idea who the next option should be but I'm sure it shouldn't be Sliwa

Take on the longest eight months

I'm so tired of living in a country where a majority of the opposition party is in some kind of perverse denial. It was never cute but sort of seemed like a lame last minute effort to keep their leader in power but as this has dragged on for 8 months since the elections and we are still spending time, money and effort auditing these results, it's become apparent that this isn't just a bunch of toddlers who aren't happy that they didn't get picked for a kickball game but instead a group of people who have lost all semblance of rational thought. What is the most depressing thought is that they all believe they are engaging in "independent thought" when in fact they are just re-spewing the vile crap they hear from Tucker every day.

Take on Tucker’s Tucker

Tucker Carlson seems to be I a race against time to try to become the worst person on earth. He's always been a complete fathead but the Trump loss has sent him onto a different trajectory all together,
Ont that almost makes Sean Hannity seem sane

Whe asked if he'd gotten a vaccine he responded by asking the reporter what sexual position they'd last had with their wife. Obviously it's Tucker's intent to weaponize the vaccine, so he can keep his audience angry

Al he's done is expose that audience for being lunatics

Take on Elmer Fudd

We knew Wilbur Ross was a horrible human before he became the Commerce Secretary but his time in office not only cemented his legacy as utter conflicted trash.
Setting up an $300 million dollar acquisition firm in the Cayman Islands is the kind of thing that would have made any administration take action but Trump's didn't so much as blush.
The gigantic conflict of interest seems to have just been par for the course and the $53 million he reported proves it to and through.
We need to get the grifting out of politics along with any of this potential double dealing

Take on Juneteenth

As Juneteenth finally got it's official recognition, I'm shocked to hear that there is anything remotely controversial about it. The day to commemorate the end of slavery is a day worth recognizing and the fact that it took 150 years to make it an official holiday is all you need to know

The argument about creating another summer holiday is incoherent and idiotic but what does bother me is that it will take a few years to completely bastardize the day with mattress sales, long weekend on the beach and more commercial nonsense.

Like Veterans Day, Memorial Day or Martin Luther King day..these days should almost better served with kids actually going to school to learn about the importance of the day

Take on fat/skinny Kim Yong Un

Kim Yong Un was clocking in at about 300pounds just a few months ago but the last time he was seen in public he looked like a not quite svelte 260. It's hard to know how he lost the weight since he likely hasn't given up his diet of bourbon and twinkies but the weight loss was significant. I'm guessing the fat leader got a case of the covid and was hospitalized for a while and basically lost the weight then. If it wasn't due to covid it may have been due to the fact he's just a gigantic fat slob and likely had an artery clogged with a yo-yo

The truth is that he still has a terrible haircut but because his head no longer looks like a weather balloon his flat top doesn't looks as much like the deck of an airplane hanger but instead just a bad korean dude cur

Take on the 21 spineless no votes

We've come to the time in our lives where everything we've been told is complete garbage. Twenty one house members voted against giving Capitol police officers congressional gold medals because fighting off an angry mob to defend your colleagues and the very institutions you serve is apparently not enough.

Obviously there is more to all of this but it wasn't surprising that every.single.no.vote was a member of the GQP.
I'm starting to think that maybe the entire Back the Blue thing really is not about backing blue and instead about confronting black and brown

Take on Trump’s second inauguration PM

Good news, if you want to go to Trump's second inauguration you get to see Ted Nugent and Kid Rock on August 15th and it will only cost you $1200per ticket. Obviously there is no constitutional way for this to actually occur but people are dumb and the idea of seeing Kid Rock does usually get most trashy white chicks hot and heavy

Anyway, I'm not blowing $2500 for a couple of tickets especially for something which looks like the tickets look like those Green Day stubs from 1996 which I have in my closet .

Take on Marjorie Taylor Greene

Majorie Taylor Greene had to apologize for her offensive Holocaust comparisons today after visiting the Holocaust museum. She's obviously a horrible person but you'd hope that somebody in an elected office would have some gauge of major world history. What amazing is that her apology is likely not going to the last one for an ignorant comment she'll make.

But we will likely keep electing her

Take on the next Clinton murder

Another decade, another Clinton conspiracy about having somebody offed. The Daily Mail implied that Clinton may have offed the reporter who reporters the tarmac meeting with Loretta Lynch.
Obviously this is likely just a coincidence but coincidence have followed the Clinton's around like a bad case of athletes foot.

I'm calling this likely not true..but not entirely not not true either

Take on the Trump spying scandal

For all the spying that Trump accused the democrats of doing, like usual, he was just accusing them of what he was doing himself. Trump has always used his accusatory stance to admit his own flaws and watching it in real time yet again is like staring at a car wreck. The issue is that had it happened to a Democratic, the entire media empire would cover it 24 hours per day which the entire FoxNews evening line up devoting their entire shows to if . The Dema can't even get it into the front page of the Times.
The entire Nixon administration came to it's knees during Watergate yet we can't get a single court to take Trump and his cronies to task because to this day they are all frightened of him.

Take on the boring G7

The G7 summit seemed to ha e been a big success if for no other reason than our president didn't push another world leader away to get to try front for for a photo opp. Biden has proven again that he's able to navigate the scenarios of a normal president. The tableau of Biden standing with his counterparts without any crazy showdowns which we all appreciate. But there are more opportunities over the weekend to embarrass himself and our country, let's hope he doesn't pull a Trump

Take on. Jeff Toobin

Legal analysts and chronic mastrubator Jeffrey Toobin returned to the airwaves today after a lengthy absence for waxing his carrot in front of colleague on a zoom call. Obviously choking the chicken in front of your entire office is never a way to get ahead but CNN's decision to go head on with Toobin to try to help him rehabilitate his image seemed odd. What was worse was a cringeworthy interview to try to get ahead of it. It's an interview we wish we never saw and proves once again that America gives everybody a second chance..unless you're black or brown in which case..have a nice summer

Takeon the craziest crazies

Wait a second..the crazy anti vaxxers are now saying that taking the vaccine gives you magnetic powers? I haven't been keeping up with all the 5G and Bill Gates implanting chips into people through a needle hole which is likely 100 micron wide but this one has to be the craziest. I am sure that if I stand in a room for a few hours during this miserable wave I can get all sorts of things to stick to my body but god forbid a nurse would know that.

Take on the continuously falling rates

Biden's 70% milestone for vaccines won't happen mostly because more than 30% of our population are selfish fools
We know that not getting vaccinated is a choice but by making that choice, you are endangering the most vulnerable for whom the vaccines don't work or are too immune compromised to have that risk.
What bothered me the most is the people who cried the loudest about lockdowns are the ones who refused to wear a mask and are the ones not getting vaccinated.
A lot of people are reluctant now because the rates are dropping which just proves the point that vaccines work. There are no reports of anything more than some minor complications in 99.9999% of all vaccine cases. Nobody has died. Now if they just did the bare minimum we'd be that much better off now

Take on the pipeline hack ransom recovery

Reading a story about how US investigators recovered millions of dollars of ransom payments for that Colonial Pipeline shutdown gave me two reactions. Obvious excitement to know that a bunch of Russian actors weren't able to profit over our misery and hoping that we can disrupt this type of thing in the future. Second I wonder how exactly they could recover cryptocurrency which I was sort of under the impression wasn't traceable and needed some kind of wallet and key.

Mostly I'm just excited that BitCoin's value dropped so I can buy some at a discount

Take on the backwards pants thing.

Trump showed up yesterday wearing his pants backwards and everybody went nuts because it proved he had gone senile. Obviously this is possible but putting on your pants backwards would take some serious body contortion to button and zipper them and Trump is a fat slob who likely can't even bend down to see his own penis.

So I doubt this pants thing is the case. What I am certain about is that he's wearing an oversized pair of pants because he has on a gigantic pair of depends. You can't totally blame him, he's 70 and a history of adderall usage so incontinence seems expected and to ask that man to stand up for 2 hours to speak would seem like a urinary challenge.

So please stop saying he's got an early case of Alzheimer's and instead just focus on the fact he pees the bed

Take on Biden’s vaccine goal

By the time July4th hits, we'll have about half the states have hit the 70% vaccine threshold. The issues that that the other half of the states are never going to get there which means that we as a country will never really get there. The entire idea behind a vaccine so that it's done for the greater good but when half the country doesn't believe in doing the minimum to protect everybody, we may as well give up because they have.

Luckily for us, the states that are furthest away from hitting the threshold are exactly the ones we have no interest of stepping foot into

Take on Royal Caribbean

The petri dish of Covid is about to return to the seven seas in a month and white American rejoices. I can't say I had any interest in a cruise pre covid but while covid is still raging around the world, it sounds like torture. You know the first boat that sails will wind up getting stuck somewhere in the Bermuda triangle with people puking overboard mainly because DeSantis wants to fine cruise lines if they require vaccines. I don't understand the logic to it, who in their right mind would think that vaccines on a floating cesspool of sick anti maskers isn't something weshould do

Take on Don Jr’s newest venture

Little Don seems to be having a hard time. He's been hawking himself at $19.99 like a strung out hooker working The Point. I am not sure why he seems to be in such financial distress but assume it's because he's not actually that bright and marketing himself in a Kardashian type manner seems like solid business. Obviously he doesn't think it cheapens his brand but can't wait for a bunch of people to tweet out his responses wishing Jack Oaff a great birthday or Dick Lickour a happy graduation.

Take on Trump’s blog failure

Apparently putting out a regular blog is easier said than done

Trump's crappy blog went the way of TrumpSteaks, TrumpWater and Trump U coming down a month after it started. Seems like getting getting called out for only able to achieve PetFinder level readership was too much for old 45. Obviously nobody feels that badly for Trump since he'll likely get his Facebook and Twitter accounts back at some point but watching him suffer through poor readership was true and dear to our heart.

Take on Trump’s latest plan

Trump has been telling confidants that he expects to be reinstated to the throne of president sometime this summer which is exactly the kind of batshit crazy talk you expect out of a guy like Trump. Every one of these Trump supporters has spent the last six months telling you that January 6th wasn't some attempted coup which is....interesting

They are also the ones who said that Obama was a dictator who illegally sought and won the presidency. They are the same people who back the blue except when it comes to protecting the actual blue.

I'd try to reasons with them but the sheer act of arguing with them makes my hair hurt.