Thursday, December 31, 2015

Take on Times Square New Years

About a decade and a half ago about ten buddies and I trike led down to Times Square, we had backpacks filled with booze (pre 9/11) we had bladders full of booze and we had ridiculous energy. We showed up at about 6pm and waited for six hours drinking our faces off. The issue was that they would not let you leave the pen you were in, so after two hours of drinking, everybody was dying. There just wasn't anyway you could go and it was only 8pm, so we devised up a scheme. All the dudes would huddle up like we were a college football offense in a giant circle and whip out their dickies and then proceed to piss in the empty forty ouncers. The issue was that the drinker we got, the worse the aim got. But everybody stuck to the plan..well everybody except one dude who kept pissing in his forty and then would hold it up high to cheers the world and then drop it, breaking it into a thousand pieces and splattering piss all over everybody's shoes and pants
Fast forward to 11:59, the world is looking up to the ball and the -drop the forty on the ground- dude looked at me and said "I really gotta go". I tell him to hold it for 45 seconds and we'd find a bar but he says he can't. He asked if we can get the huddle back but I told him that it was impossible, we were now squeezed towards the front and there was nowhere to go...well he is dying and he looks like he is going to cry, and he asks me for permission..I am drunk and tell him "why not". He takes out his minuscule zingy and starts pissing right there. The issue was that we were pressed up against the people in front of us, so he is literally pissing against this couple standing there about to kiss to ring in the new year. My buddy is like a dog and these two are a hydrant. The couple turns around and look at him and are like "what the f&ck?!?" My buddy just laughs and says "I can't hold it". The dude winds up like he is going to clock my buddy and then the ball falls and the entire place turns into jubilation. We duck out in the chaos and disappear in the crowd, my buddy still holding his dinky which he wipes on the back of a guy's new Tommy Hilfiger coat and we are back in NJ an hour later...after another buddy pukes all over the NJ transit bus


Happy New Year!!!

No comments:

Post a Comment