take on the GOP debate

**now with fashion commentary**

The GOP went back at it and like a good family Christmas get together, it got nasty. We still believe there are way too many candidates which has the effect of cheapening the event and also making it feel like a Royal Rumble which catapults it into must watch.

Let's go one by one

Kasich.
This dude speaks like he is simultaneously signing to a deaf audience. His hand motions are so distracting that he just comes across as a complete mental patient which is a shame since he might be the only one who is not. 

He was one of the only ones not wearing a red tie with his navy suit, I suspect this was his way of showing the moderate wing that he can bring balance to The Force

CarsonLike Herman Cain and Howard Dean and Mike Huckabee, he had his 15 minutes and now the gig is up. Nobody believes he is nearly versed enough in the issues to have a shot and unlike Trump he has absolutely no bravado to hide his lack of knowledge. Plus he pronounces Wolf like Woof which was distracting, 

It is of note that, except for Fiorina, he was the only wearing a pinstripe suit and, like Kasich, he was not wearing a red tie.. 

Fiorina
Never before has somebody with so little experience tried to give off the impression of having so much. I was the leader of a (failing) tech company, I had breast cancer, I have lost every election I have stood for and I buried a child so that makes me keenly qualified to be a president. If she wasn't a woman, people would destroy her for her lack of knowledge and experience.

Plus that cross around her neck made her look like Flava Flav. We get it, you love Christ but Jesus that thing had more bling than a Trump casino.  Her dress made her look like a red pear

Christie
Big Chris acts like he is a front runner and lectures from what he believes is the bully pulpit but the truth is that every time he leans on that lectern it looks like it was going to crack. Let's just hope big Mike Huck didn't have the same one in the undercard
And he is just a fatter Rudy Giuliani.. 

Nothing in this world looked more pained than that one button on his suit trying to keep it closed, he does look like a nice apple compliment to Fiorina's pear

Rand Paul
He actually makes sense. I have no idea how or why or when it happened but whenever he speaks, he makes a valid point. Then you look up and see who it is and think that you can't wait for Trump to shove this turd in his locker.

a turd wearing a navy suit and red tie in size 38 small.

Jeb
When Trump shoves Rand into the locker he'll find Jeb there already. It is mystifying that Jeb is so inept at this, he actually makes W seem competent. His attacks on Trump really don't do anything but allow Trump to come back and pummel him. Even if he nails one (which admittedly he did) Trump comes back and pulls away his chair as he is about to sit down. Jeb supporters are the loneliest group in the world (https://mobile.twitt...946951854825472) kind of like those guys that hang outside of a movie theater for three weeks to see Star Wars only to see a 6'4" Biff show up with the Star Wars nerd's sister and gets a better seat. But the seat isn't just better it happens to be right in front of the Star Wars nerd meaning he is staring at the back of his head as Biff makes out with the poor guy's sister but worse than that you just know he Biff doesn't have the faintest idea the chronology of Boba Fett

His suit just looks too tight. like he thinks he should be a slim fit when he's actually a standard one.. that can't be comfortable standing like that all night

Rubio
He didn't go to his "my dad was a bartender and my mother was a maid" thing which was a step up but he is just such a disingenuous politician who has sold his soul to the devil for this opportunity (and a smoking hot wife). His ears are still way too distracting and somebody please get him a glass of water cause he was coughing up a storm.  

He does look like he fell right out of a GQ ad, picked up the high school cheerleader, won the homecoming king award and helped an old (illegal immigrant) lady across a crowded street.. still we all hate him

Cruz
I am borrowing this from a smarter person than I am but it fits

Can anyone else picture Cruz alone in an apartment somewhere, smearing lipstick sloppily over his face, wearing heels and a dress, dancing slowly as Chris Issac plays in the background, while mascara runs from his tears and he stabs a doll slowly but with purpose, muttering things like, "You're not so pretty now, are you, Mr. Wiggles? Now who's the belle of the ball, now, Mr. WIGGLES?" Well,if you weren't before...

the guy is just a gigantic creep.. he should have Radiohead as his theme song..

Cruz just looks like a sleazy car salesman, his suit is just off enough to make you think that he just lost a bunch of weight or he took his brother's suit or he got it at a garage sale one day while the Senate was in sequester 

Trump
I just don't know what to say, he just wins. He knows nothing about the actual situations, he is lost on the nuance, he is lazy when it comes to facts and he yells and screams louder than anybody. I still believe he went into this to get some publicity and then surprised everybody (including himself) that people took to his message. He never had plans to be the president but now it looks like he might have a chance to.

What is striking is that he never buttons his suits, like he is walking around trying to show you the size of his junk.. but then he hangs his tie about 2 inches lower than you are supposed to do (look at Rubio that guy knows) so it always looks like his tie is way longer than anybody else's.. just a weird look

So the big winner last night was....Hillary Clinton