Take on the swollen lip

If I told you a story about how last night after the kids went to sleep, I drove into the city, bought an 8-ball, hit FlashDancers, met a bunch of bikers and told one that Motörhead was overrated, took him down when he swing at me but then had a six foot four black dude bouncer who looked like Zeus kick me in the mouth, would you believe me?

I probably wouldn't either but regardless I walked into work this morning with a big swollen lip. It wasn't because of a good story and wasn't even something as believable as tripping over a Dora tea-set in the middle of the night but instead I busted my lip getting onto the bus
I can't tell you exactly how it happened but I do know as I went to sit down, after getting on the bus at my stop, the driver kind of tapped the brakes. I'd say jammed on them to avoid running over a school of ducks and a school of four year olds but that would be a complete lie. He tapped them to make sure he didn't get himself caught at a weird intersection point, the issue was that I just wasn't aware he was doing it and the sudden change in direction caught me off guard.
When he tapped the brakes, my gigantic head slammed forwards hitting that huge plastic hand bar on the back of the seats like a hammer hitting a nail. I figure that the force my head hit was exponentially harder than the force of the brake kind of like how the end of a baseball bat moves at a much faster pace than the handle does when a batter swings through the zone but forget physics..for the rest of the hour and a half commute I was sucking down blood. Of course this happens to be the day I was wearing a white button down and, being that I am a man I did not have a bunch of tissues in my pocket so there I sat just sucking down on my lip hoping it wouldn't bleed all over my shirt like a chick who lost track of her cycle days

MLIA