Take on the Chinese funeral

I hate funerals, I guess everybody does but it is unreal how much I hate them. I always feel like they take way longer than needed, there are way too many formalities and the chances of seeing somebody rise from the grave is slim to none but when I heard about the way they party at a Chinese funeral I was counting the days for a Chinese guy I know to die.
Apparently in rural China they turn the funeral into FDs which is to say it goes from hopelessly depressing to..still sort of helplessly depressing but at least instead of staring at some dude who looks like a porcelain doll you get to look at a chick built like Barbi, or in China a girl built like Annabelle Chong and I'm ok with that