Thursday, September 25, 2014

Take on Cam Newton's outfit

We heard our fans and want to offer a heartfelt apology. You come to
TOR daily for exactly the kind of story we missed this week, and for
that we apologize: But every apology we may owe you pails in
comparison to the apology that Cam Newton owes us all after showing up
at his post game press conference this past weekend dressed like a 60
year old woman. Great players leave everything on the field, in this
case Newton should have left something in the locker room
Cam Newton showed up wearing capri pants, loafers without socks and a
lavender blazer....after an NFL game. This is an outfit you'd see on
the street on the the upper east side and you would think it would
look bad on her. Forget how badly he's played, that outfit is the
most atrocious thing we've seen out of young Cam and there is no
excuse for it.
We debated at the TOR editorial naked round table last night over fra
diavolo and porterhouse whether Newton was wearing a shirt underneath
the lavender blazer or if he just said F'it and went with fish-nets.
There is no good reason why any person, especially a straight man
should ever dress like this.

So maybe this was Cam's coming out moment, the Media went gaga over
Michael Sam and deservedly so ...but he hasn't exactly, you know,
played an actual NFL football game. If this was Cam's Sam moment, we
applaud him for his strength and courage and hope it leads to more
people coming out but Cam next time do us a favor and go on with
Barbara Walters and don't subject us to this.

2 comments:

  1. Check out Cam Newton's ears. They are the most hideous things on a human head, ever.

    Even worse than John Elway's oversized front teeth, Patrick Ewing's nose, Tony Siragusa's complete lack of a chin or neck, or Charles Barkley's pointy bald head.

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