Take on the WWTJD crew

There are not many things in life I like as much as Trader Joe's.
Between the $4.99 pound of grass fed sirloin, the $3.99 organic grape
tomatoes and that delicious free sample bar in the back by the
yogurts, the place is a splendid experience. The food is good, the
prices we cheap and the selection is solid plus you can get a free
Dixie cup of coffee to keep you from wanting to kill those
ridiculously happy cashiers. I mean, what the hell is up with those
people, they all walk around like they have been sucking on the helium
tank over at Party City because the entire place feels like a you are
in a bizarro world. A world which is manned by a cult of California
surfer meet Brooklyn hipster and everybody has a perpetual smile on
their faces as if somebody just opened an all you can eat taco stand.
I get that life shouldn't be that hard but come on, this is
ridiculous, nobody can be that excited that you just got in a shipment
of pesticide free radishes and nobody should. These people aren't
from here and they certainly aren't normal. There have to be some
subliminal messages hidden in the art work of cows and pastures and
windmills that speak only to the truly informed and that message is
probably how they plan to take over the world

I am sure that this entire operation is a front for some kind of Nike
sneaker wearing, Waco compound having, Jesus loving, group sex having,
mental mind-game playing, organic organic origami of organ donors but
as long as they serve those delicious pigs-in-a-blanket at the that
tasting station and keep offering $2.99 organic milk, call me David
Koresh