Take on the Righetti Bag of Crap

As I was putting together the latest edition of the Righetti Bag of Crap after successfully auctioning the mystery item off online for $29, I found that although if contained enough of the usual crap (shirts, old cell phones, books, figurines, household appliances etc.) it lacked something.  We run one of these auctions about once per year and make no promises except a completely full 12x12x13 box, but the Righetti BOC comes with some expectations.  The problem is that those expectations (porn) have kind of gone the way of most print media, nobody has any physical material anymore and the Righetti Stash was sent our with the last BOC.  

I thought that the RBOC could not possibly be complete without at least some pornography so although the BOC is suppose to be items I find laying around my house and desk, I thought about actually purchasing some which turned out to be easier said than done

No where in the great city of Manhattan can you buy any, it's like  the entire city has gone dry.  There are no sex shops, no peepshow places and certainly no respectable newsstand had any, so the BOC recipient got the following instead

Instructions

Turn on computer

Launch Safari, Explorer, Firefox, Netscape, etc

Scroll to the address bar and enter y-o-u-p-o-r-n. dot com and press enter

Grab tissues

Erase history 

 

By the way, here are the full contents

"Pictures of it all:http://s1061.photobu...ennisr/library/

 

The first thing I noticed when I opened the BOX was how much C was in the B.

The next thing I noticed was that it smelled musty.  Then I noticed the smell of balls.  Balls as in Nuts.  WTF!??!!  Why does the box smell like balls?

 

Oh well, only one way to find out.

This is what I took out of the box in order.  It’s a lot:

 

Leg Warmers with buttons

3 used paper New Year’s Eve horns

New Motion Sensing Alarm

Hand held shoot basket in basketball in a globe game with broken scoreboard

Drink Mixer with Mud Slide Mix and a one Chinese RMB note (.16 US cents)

A Christmas giftbox with instruction note stuck inside and a losing Giants to win the 2014 SB ticket @ 19/1

A vey well read issue of The Economist

A dog eared Costa Rica Guide Book that clearly has been to Costa Rica and back

Webster 21 Century Dictionary with a half completed Jan 25^th, crossword puzzle stuck in page 151

One Innovation 2014 Calendar (new)

Kurt Cobain Journals

Smoking Balcony Pen

Discounted left over Gold Bond body power (aha, the ball smell!)

IPhone Screen Protector for 4G

Mourn Not Your Dead book. On the title page, someone wrote in pencil “Good” before Mourn and May 1997 after the authors name.

New 8GB SDHC Card

A tarnished beer mug with a joker’s hat and ring inside

Hotel Rwanda DVD with top sealed and bottom of package opened

A plastic bag full of stuff:

                Plastic golf toys

                L- Shrink wrap Tshirt in a 1 inch box

                Bottle opener with Puerto Rico flag & green opener

                Wallet

                Old sealed box of Durex Perfomax Condoms

                A62 Samsung cellphone, phone made for very small people

A sweaty Thundormuffin t-shirt.  Sweaty?  Seriously?   Source of the musty smell.

Mystery item

Yellow Stress ball (Made in China)

50 Plastres Egyptian Currency

Delta Pen

Treasure Island $10 to win $100 on Kasey Kahne to win Daytona 500

A bunch more junk: plastic case, pen, an empty bag, mint, medicine, Visine, George Michael Faith cassette tape, Visine, lighter, plugs, used lottery card, battery, and a Dave Righetti baseball card

Frisbee

More betting slips, a picture of snow, more Egyptian money

A bottle of Sake wrapper in bubble wrap."

 

 

Also got this nice note

 

"Thanks Righetti!  The living room aired right out, and the smell of sweat and balls is gone. "

Sent from my iPhone

Sent from my iPhone