Take on my dangerously short Achilles

	OMG Facts (@OMGFacts)
3/30/13, 9:30 PM Most western adults can't squat with their heels flat. This is due to shortened Achilles tendons, the result of sitting too much

When I read the above OMGFact, my first thought was that Asian's have it good with their elongated Achilles, their hairless legs and their endless supply of smog keeping any sunlight from hitting their ageless faces (until they hit the Great Wall of Menopause and all of a sudden look like Kim Jong-Il). 

Then I heard from a non East-Asian friend that she too is able to squat flat-footed and suspects women have longer tendons than men because they have to hover over public toilet seats.    Of course, she too is of Asian descent, so who the hell knows if this is true for all chicks.   I have to think that those big fat midwestern hogs probably can't keep this balance up and just plop their zit covered asses on any piece of porcelain that will have them so they too have short Achilles. 

But even if some chicks have less of this issue, I figure that it is probably an affliction that hits most guys.  A dude does much less toilet squatting in a lifetime because honestly how often are you even on a public toilet in a week?  maybe once if you had bad Korean food on 32nd street?? 

So although this meant that I never had the indignity of looking like a prepubescent Japanese boy on the playground, it's not all that peaches and fish-head soup when you realize you are about to go to a place where you shit into a hole and are now stuck with puny Achilleses (editors note: I have no idea what the plural of Achilles is and suspect it is like fish where both the singular and the plural are the same but to cover all basis I am also adding the TOR version of it)

I've decided that I will have my kids to squat when they sit like all those wacky Japanese kids from my elementary school so that, if they ever have to drop a deuce in China, they can do so without ending up swimming in a hole of human excrement.