Take on the Subway Pooper

When I read the story about the guy killed last night while sh!tting between subway cars while another guy was found bloodied on the tracks at the same station at the same time I had one thought there was something that didn't smell right..   The reports are that the first guy got killed trying to take a dump between the subway cars and the second guy in an unrelelated event  ended up drunk and bloodied at the other side of the tracks at the same station and same time.   There is something not kosher about this story and I'm not talking about a Rabbi blessing the act.  To me this just seemed like some kind of man on man action which went terribly wrong

I have NOTHING against gay-sex and nothing against subways but this entire story sounds way too fishy..  How the hell is a guy even able to balance himself between two subway cars to take a dump.  I've walked between cars back when the doors weren't locked and I couldn't even stand up between those two cars for two seconds without being thrown from one side to another, there is absolutely NO way I'm attempting to drop my pants to drop a deuce.   First of all the only way you would even do this is if had some crazy Montezuma's revenge going on and if that is the case you may as well just do it in your pants because trying to expunge that watery shit means you're going to get it all over yourself even if you aren't trying to balance yourself between subway cars at 40mph.  Second of all the other dude was hammered and claims to have no memory at all of the entire event. which is a bit hard to believe if you just spent the last 20 minutes laying between the tracks with those poodle size rats.

call me a conspiracy theorist but this looked like a couple of drunk dudes having a little fun at high speeds with some very serious consequences..