Take on Carter

(Follow up to last week's anti pink rant).

I can't tell you what I hate worse, the fact that Americans must plop
their kids in pepto Bismal pink or that they so so in the cheapest
clothing know to man. Explain this logic to me,., a chick has a baby
shower and she gets 50 fucking pink onesies from Carter. For those of
you who haven't had the pleasure, Carter is the equivalent of Champion
clothing, yes it's fine if you are going out to buy bagels but the
quality, cut and look are all crap but unlike the champion sweats you
don't have the skin sensitive of a baby

But I guess you got to give the Carter Company credit because they has
some crazy, but effective, marketing scheme because no parent actually
buys Carter for their own kids, the only thing people buy there are
these hideous three pack of pajamas for their coworker baby showers.
It's easy to tell because they all come in pink or blue and all of
them emblazoned with some kind of duck and it comes in a set of three
on some cheap white hanger
It looks just nice enough to get your idiot coworkers to oooh and aaah
but any reasonable parent not on food stamps sends this crap right to
goodwill
The problem is the quality of the clothing is total crap. The cotton
had the kind of texture to it that after you wash it once it feels
like that sock under your bed does, you know the one you sploodge
into. It's like taking sandpaper to your kid's stomach every time you
try to jimmy that thing over their heads which you have to do because
the stuff all shrinks three sizes the second a liquid hits it which
for kid's clothes means within the first three minutes. I've honestly
seen these things Saran Wrap around my kid as if it looks like body
paint after they spill milk on it.
So next time you decide to buy one of these for a friend realize it's
like giving somebody a roll of bodega toilet paper when they have
hemorrhoids