Lumpy Bumpy

So I woke up a few months ago with this nasty growth on my back.. I wasn't sure what the hell it was as it was bigger than a zit but looked like it was coming out of my back like a Gremlin.   Now I'm not sure what the hell causes the formation but it's completely unsightly and when you are already dealing with ugly bumps on your inner thighs, unruly chest-hair, a lazy eye and a terrible hair-cut you really can't afford any more unslightly body parts.   

 
SO I make it over to the dermatologist who tells me it's probably a non-cancerous cyst which basically means it's a chunk of dead-skin with a bunch of goo inside of it.   Now I'm not all that vain so I don't honestly care what it looks like but I don't want to be carrying around any extra weight but  I'm also not so keen on going under the knife so I do what any red-blooded American would..stall.  I basically wait 12 months before I'm told by somebody that I should go and get it checked out again.

 Now I can't tell if it's gotten worse looking or if it's growing like that oil-spill down in the gulf but I'm sure that it hasn't gotten any smaller.    I remember hearing my college roommate asking his girlfriend to pop one he had one his head and him telling me it oozed for like an hour, so using a stucco knife in a dorm-room won't be the way I'm gonna approach this one.

So I searched YouTube of cyst removal and let me tell you it is completely repulsive, it's like somebody barfs from their back and the scar looks like somebody used a machete to cut open a peach.