Friday, May 14, 2010

Footlong




Reading the paper yesterday an article caught my eye.

The Subway restaurant chain has mailed cease-and-desist letters to restaurants across the country giving them a friendly heads up that they can no longer use the word "footlong."

Apparently Subway believes they are the only one who can use footlong in their advertising after they trademarked the ‘footlong’ after their hugely successful advertising campaign

This is what I hate about America; people will sue people for anything. How the hell can Subway claim to have invented this term? . I’m not exactly sure how this holds up, footlong has been around for years, I’ve been scarfing down foot-long hot-dogs for years, have had foot-long subs down the shore and watched John Holmes on BetaMax as a kid.

I don’t know if it will hold up but if it does, will this now mean that the guy at Yankee stadium will have to offer 31 cm hot-dogs? There is NOTHING less American than the centimeter and if we are going to bow down to this stuff, well then frankly the terrorists have won.

Now I like Subway although I still don’t know why they decided to abandon that ingenious wedge and I like the $5 footlong but what I don’t like is bullies and you gotta call a spade a spade, unless it’s David Spade who happens to be one of the least funny people ever.

The other thing I don’t like about Subway is that they have engaged in the complete mockery of celebrity. Paris Hilton is famous for being a hot chick who doesn’t have to work, the dude from Subway is famous for losing 1000 pounds and still looking like a dork. Let’s stop picking on the little guy and start working on improving that Big Philly Cheesesteak because that thing tastes like a week old steak-um

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