the drop

The Drop


There is nothing you can do where you are more vulnerable than when you are standing at a public pisser and all of a sudden you hear the creak? I’m not talking about your knees or the creak in your crank but the creak of the toilet seat coming down. We can put a man on the moon but we still haven’t been able to design a toilet seat which can stay up all on its own.

This is one of those life-or-death dilemmas which test your will-power, intestinal fortitude, dexterity, reaction time and level of care for other people.

The dropping toilet seat has many repercussions.

- Avoiding pissing on the seat: As somebody who takes pride to never piss all over a toilet seat, as I know that sometime in the future I’ll be forced to plant my ass on said-seat.

- Avoiding pissing on my pant leg

- Avoiding touching anything with my hands what so-ever



One of the only ways you can avoid getting piss all over the place is by stopping mid-stream but with a falling seat this is like trying to hit Randy Moss in stride when you have Jason Taylor breathing down your neck

The other thing you can try to do is try to pin the seat back with your foot while keeping balance and continuing a steady stream which means you will likely be lying in a puddle of piss within ten minutes

Or lastly you can just let her rip and let fate take control. Maybe you’ll get some back-splash, maybe you’ll get decapitated but at that point you are likely to get piss on your shoe at minimum and if you are in a place –like work—you may be forced to bring out a mop too.

This is why it’s so important that every public bathroom starts investing in one of those foot-levers which lifts the toilet-seat, it’s sanitary, easy to use and will most likely ensure that I’m not covered in piss