Tuesday, December 8, 2009

removing that one tile in your bathtub always leads to trouble




First TMZ or the National Enquirer breaks a story of Tiger cheating on his Swedish model wife and before you know it he’s crashing his car into a fire-hydrant, apologizing to everybody and anybody, ducking his own tournament and last night there are reports that a chick was rushed to the hospital from his house. How does his entire world and his squeaky clean image collapse so quickly

The funny thing with these types of stories is that it’s like trying to replace a single tile in a shower, as soon as you remove that one you notice that the back-board is rotten and that the entire shower area is being held together by some very flimsy glue. As long as nobody touched that one tile everything is good but touch that one and your Saturday Afternoon is fucked as you stand on a line at Home Depot with $90 worth of green-boards, grout and tiles.

Whenever a politician, actor or athlete has their armor kinked, it seems their fragile world collapses. I remember when Elliot Spitzer was caught banging that chick -who was hotter than any of the broads from Jersey Shore -and before you knew it there were reports of other affairs and there were quotes in the tabloid papers everyday from associates who would give reports of steamy romances and other skeletons. It’s not just the affairs that come out but his entire character got assassinated, before the first incident came to light Spitzer was a model citizen but as soon as the affair came out, you got reports of Spitzer of kicking dogs, berating underling and not recycling his Pepsi bottles.

This is what gets me: Tiger Woods’ every move has always been chronicled but somehow he was able to keep affairs with NINE different broads on the down-low. You couldn’t keep nine wise-guys quiet with the fear of broken knee-caps , how the hell did they keep nine affairs under the radar? It’s not like these are all members of high-society either: One is a porn star, another worked as some Las Vegas cocktail waitress – which incidentally is code for being a prostitute-, and another one worked at Hooters in New York City -which incidentally means that she will be a prostitute soon-..

How is it that in 15 years in the limelight, nobody found anything on Tiger but the second there is the tiniest bit of blood in the water, the floodgates open?

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