Fitted shirts

Obviously there has been this concerted effort of everybody in NYC to imitate the European chique and I quite frankly won't stand for it. I have buddies who wear tight $150 jeans, buy $125 fitted button down shirts and get their hair cut at places with a name like a bad Belgium martial art moviestar.. Now if you are actually European I will give you a pass but if you are a normal red-blooded American you better watch out because you have gotten slapped across the head with the gay.
Now I am not talking about dressing like a homeless person with newspapers coming out of every pocket or going to work with a ketchup stain but what the hell is with these fitted clothing on men?
I went to get a tuxedo fitted yesterday and saw a dude get his jeans taken in. WTF is wrong with you? Jeans come in thousands of cuts and sizes and you can't find a pair tight enough around your crotch? Fitted shirts is another thing, I get you have a need to feel your nipples get hard on the fabric but do you have to spend $150 to do so?

The saddest thing is that it seems every non-European who I see wear a fitted shirt also looks like they are smuggling Garfield under their shirts. So let me get this straight, you will blow well over $200 on an outfit to accentuate the fact you haven't been to the gym in a month.

Maybe my hatred comes from the fact that as I tried on this Tuxedo dude put a fitted shirt on me, I glanced over at the mirror and couldn't possibly have looked worse. I looked like a goddamned PEZ dispenser. I have this gigantic gravity defying head which in a fitted shirt looks like the Rutgers Mascot

MLIA
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