Thursday, July 30, 2009

The Great Coffee Challenge



I think I have adequately documented my addiction to caffeine which has completely controlled my life in so many ways I can hardly keep up. When a friend was in the hospital recently and could not have coffee while there, I felt her pain. I remember once going without coffee and almost crashing my car because of the headache which started as a dull pain and it turning into a nuclear war between my skull, my sinuses and my brain.

The other issue with this is that the caffeine runs right through me and it reminds me of some wacky Japanese game show I saw once where a bunch of dorky Japanese guys stood on a stage in just their jockeys while they were given cup after cup of coffee. The poor Japanese guys had to drink a cup of coffee every 5 minutes of something and the one who didn’t soil his underwear was the winner.   Those funny bastards just didn't want to lose and just about every one of them pissed themselves on national TV.

Well that got me to thinking about something which has changed my life and although I’ve mentioned it before on TOR, it bears repeating.

When you go to the gym I’ve noticed that the old-timers will often tuck their undershirts directly into their underwear. It always confused me but after doing some research at www.forums.footballguys.com I found out that this is done to avoid your button-down shirt from flaring out which always makes you look like a parachute jumper. So I’ve been tucking my undershirt into my underwear whenever I wear a button down shirt and it’s done wonders for my look, I look much more put-together and neat.. I HIGHLY recommend you make sure all the men in your life are told about this little secret, as it will change their lives in ways that not even Jesus could.

So that got me to thinking for a NEW coffee challenge..

Take a bunch of 70 year old dudes whose prostates work as well as my old Nissan Pulsar did and put them throught that Japanese challenge.

They will be staining their undershirts in places other than their armpits.

1 comment:

  1. hi david, i recently gave up coffee. i've been drinking it for years 'n years and i love it so much and about 2 weeks ago i gave it up. the first 3 days were really tough. i had pounding headaches and felt sick but then slowly, i got used to it. i think i'm finally out of withdrawal. i miss it a lot though.

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