Monday, July 6, 2009

Airplane-Itch

For all the flying I have done over the last few years, nothing has made my life more pleasant than the 45 minutes I get to spend in the business lounge. Most of the time it isn't even an hour but somehow it is long enough to make you feel human again and regain your sanity.
The wonder of the Frequent Flier pass and status has gotten me bumped up on a number of Delta/NW/KLM/Continental flights recently due in part to the platinum elite status I gained from the travelling I did in the last few years primarilly the overseas trips in business-class I have made.

What is less pleasant is that today I take my last business-class trip as the company has cut all travel to coach status. Now I have a LOT of experience in coach, so this isn't like I am some average Iraqi who one day in 2003 goes from having a good job, nice home and savings to having my world turned on it's head but for a guy planning to travel to China in the next few months the thought of 14 hours squeezed between some American slob and some sezchuan smelling asian is not very appealing.

But for those who travel coach here are some small things that make travelling that way somewhat livable.

The extra 2" you get on a JetBlue flight vs that on an AirTran one makes it a coach seat you can actually sleep in.

Those airplane socks although stupid looking can make my feet look like NY Sausages ass opposed to Vienna Sausages

With the new regulations on the docket which limits carry-on bags, at least the future may actually allow for some overhead bin room.

The problem that neither business-class or coach can fix is the airplane-crotch you get from sitting in the same clothes for 24 hours with your fat thighs squeezed tightly together by some seat-belt. For all the dry-air in an airplane, it doesn't translate to the crotch area where here is just too much heat, dampness and lack of open air. At some point they have to start introducing some kind of airplane shower on normal flights or at least I gotta paint my sack with baby-powder because I'm about thisclose to letting the boys air out right on the plane.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

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