Now I’m not that squeamish but this is one of the most disgusting things that have ever happened to me. It’s one of those things that I’ll chalk up to not paying attention and I’ve dodged a few bullets but what is so disturbing is that you are on the crapper reading a random soliloquy and before you know it you lean back to stretch which forces your ass to move up in the seat and doink… unit meets porcelain.
I’ve looked it up and urbandictionary.com even has the term for this occurrence: “the porcelain kiss”.
I think I’ve kissed porcelain twice twice in my lifetime. One time sitting on my own can at home which although still kinda gross was livable especially since I was able to jump in the shower immediately. The other time was much less pleasant, I was on a public crapper at a Starbucks after having built a nice bird’s nest with toilet paper which put at least 2” above the actual seat. Well as I’m doing what I’m doing, the door opens (I guess I didn’t’ lock it correctly) and I move to sit up. The laws of physics will tell you exactly what happened here, my body moved back, my ass moved forward and my unit kissed porcelain.
The other guy appologized but I was so grossed out that I spent the next 20 minutes washing my unit in the sink.
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ReplyDeletesorry, i made a spelling/grammar mistake so i'm reposting my comment. how come there's no "edit" button?
ReplyDeletei lose my appetite very easily so whenever i'm eating and i open your site up and see that warning "this is gross but..." i immediately close it and read it after i finish eating. i'm really easily grossed out by public bathrooms but that's cuz the womens public restrooms are way worse. there are crusty bloody maxipads and tampons everywhere and i've also walked into many diarrhea explosion stalls. if you're ever on a diet and need to lose your appetite, i think you just have to walk into a public bathroom cuz you won't eat all day after that.