Hong Kong Sack!!!

Forget the Black Plague, Swine Flu, Bird Flu or whatever other CNN created thing will take over the airwaves in a couple of months, there is a real medical emergency the FDA, UHO and the NCAA should be looking at as it afflicts a much more important segment of the population..me!!
As TOR readers know, I strongly believe in the power of exercise, and more specifically the value of running. Although it beats my joints, it has caused my nipples to bleed, rubs my fat-chick thighs together into a chafing sore and turned my feet into a combination of dead skin, black toenails and red bumps I believe this is by far the most rewarding form of exercise. It does though have some drawbacks including the affliction I have suffered from for years. My first experience with this happened when I bought a pair of used jeans of some big-headed Korean kid in college, when I started showering regularly it got better but come marathon time I’m completely screwed.

See if I don’t’ jump into the shower immediately after going running, I know I’ll suffer for days because the combination of sweat, heat and my huge sack seems to make my groin the perfect breeding ground for this wicked animal. Don’t give me any sob stories about tennis elbow, twisted ankles or it hurting when you pee after some soiree with some dirty chick cause when athletes-jock rears its ugly head, my groin area will be red and blistered, my eyes filled with tears and my fingernails will be black with grime.

Hong Kong Foot is bad believe me, but it’s livable since at least scratching your foot is not completely socially unacceptable. See when you get Hong Kong Sack on the subway you are totally screwed cause you can’t go out and start scraping your groin area with a pocket knife or pounding your sack with Gold-Bond Medicated Powder. People who haven’t suffered from it just don’t understand the level of discomfort a raging jock-itch episode brings on.

I know how to keep it from flaring up (quick shower after a run) and I've tried every over-the-counter option, having suffered so long I’m willing to try just about anything.