Sunday, March 22, 2009

the V-Neck


Am I the only one who noticed that when you buy a undershirt they always show a white dude on the packaging of a crew-neck or v-neck undershirt but always a black dude on the packaging of a tanktop undershir?.  

Then again, I'm about to start a 15k New York Road Runners race in Central Park, which is about the largest collection of white-people this side of a Hanes crew-neck convention.  And the only thing whiter than a crew-neck convention would be a GOP convention.  Except in the running case all the white-people are in that 25 to 45 age range and all love recycling, Obama and running.  

But back to the undershirt thing, when putting on a work-shirt any man will have to choice his poison, the tank-top, the crew-neck, the v-neck or no undershirt at all.
It is obvious that my options are limited since Hanes had made it abundantly clear that the tank-top is not suited for me or my fair-skinner brothers.  Since we are told not to see color, maybe the only way to tell if the dude is black, white or other is what kind of Hanes undershirts he is sporting.


Now I have some buddies who just will go sans undershirt all together but anybody who knows how sweaty I am will realize that this is not an option for me.  
This leave me with two option one of which is completely unacceptable:the crew-shirt neck underneath the dress shirt.  There isn't a worse look that seeing yourself dressed for an occassion with a nicely pressed button-down and a white ring around your neck, like you are wearing a cotton turtle neck.   If you are going to go the crew-neck route you may as well put on a purple undershirt with a dinosaur on it cause you are going to look like a dipshit either way.

So since I’ve decided that the crew-neck under the dress-shirt is the official look for a white-guy who’s given up, I'm not black enough for the tank-top and since I cannot go sans-shirt like some of my European friends I wear the v-neck.

The V-neck offers a great look, it wears comfortably and picks up like 99% of the sweat, it's almost 100% perfect except  when you have a bear-rug on your chest you can almost get strangled by your own chest hair.

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