I'm just not that into you.

Never have I spent a worse $12 than watching "He's just not that into you".


Now I realize that this is entirely my own fault as it looked terrible in the previews but never the less I spent the 2 hours of my life wishing I was dead.  I watched this horror show with a few friend's who have not had the pleasure of seeing me stuck in a theatre for this kind of brutality as I sighed, jittered, moved and groaned in my chair, all the while wanting to do shove a giant ice pick into my urethra.

Enough about me, now to the movie: The cast was terrible, story line brutal and the acting was worse. This is like watching Friends meets the 2008 NY Yankees, too many superstars and not enough pressure on any of them to do anything worthwhile. This was like a cast full of ARod’s heart, Lisa Kudro’s age, Giambi’s face, Joey’s crappy haircut, Jeter’s chick plus you get Ross and Rachel.. In other words 129 minutes of no heart, no passion and no laughs.

The story line is this interwoven story of four or five chicks who all can't seem to get laid on a regular basis by anybody who is actually worth their while. The formerly cute one can't get her boyfriend to marry her cause why buy the cow, the one who looks like a horse is busy giving her husband such a hard time that he starts bagging the one with the big cans, The one who looks like she got stung by bees plays the equivalent of the pathetic chick from high school who is always trying to hang with the cool kids and winds up falling in love with guy in the marching band one and the annoying one is busy online dating and getting nowhere fast.

I rate the stars like this

Jennifer Anniston -> hasn't looked this awful since those pictures surfaced of her pre nose-job. It is sad for her that she plays herself in every movie as the cute chick who can't get keep a dude happy. She must be terrible in the sack.

Jennifer Connelly -> looked like a cross between a horse and a chick who got kicked in the face by the same horse.

Ginnifer Goodwin -> her face looks like those dolls with Xavier Robert's tattoo on their asses

Drew Barrymore -> you know what they say about cute child actors, don't leave them near an open cookie jar, or in her case a cookie truck.

Scarlett Johansen-> Hoya Goya

Ben Affleck -> should stick with those insurance commercials

Schwimmer-> another shitty role

The short guy from Entourage-> pathetic

The blond guy -> I have no idea who this guy is but in my opinion it doesn’t take much to act like you got the hots for Scarlett Johansen