Unlike my chicks, I like my laces flat

I hate looking down and realizing my shoes are untied again but I've found the culprit: coiled shoe laces, those round ones you get in dress shoes. Every time I put on shoes with these things, I feel like I'm back elementary school having to double tie my knots.

Give me some reasonable flat laces and let me live in peace.


so we the tax payers are giving the the banking industry $700 Billion dollars and we're going to take on all the risk with a lot of these subprime loans and all the credit riskc and then we have to go and help all these people who own more on their house than it's worth get out of this mess.


So let me get this straight, the next time I buy a lemon car and realize it's a piece of crap, somebody will bail me out of that too?


I do bad for the couple who bought their home at the top of the bubble and now their house is worth half what it was

I don't feel nearly as bad for the couple who took a home equity against their home and used the money to go to Mexico and now they owe more on their home than it was worth.

I do feel bad for the guy who never got to go to Mexico for Spring Break

I don't feel that bad for the guy who was trying to flip a house and bang it rich.

I don't feel that bad for the CEO who was taking home $100 million a year to run their company in the ground.

I do feel bad for the janitor or the secretary at Lehman Brothers who is out of a job.

I don't feel bad for the guy who risked billions of our money and now is thinking of jumping

I do feel bad for the guy who is walking underneath him

I don't feel bad for the 290 pound chick who was 5'4" who was got onto on the subway yesterday

I do feel bad for myself as I was sitting next to that chick, cause she didn't even ask if was OK for me to hold her gut on my lap